wardrobe malfunctions

Almost 29 weeks pregnant and the last two days I have finally felt uncomfortable. That's pretty good, though, right? Thank you, Jesus, for my job but the extra hour they've added to the school day is KILLING me! (Or at least my feet...)I survived the sweltering summer with zero swelling and then came a whole gaggle of 2nd graders. People keep saying 'You need to be off your feet. Sit down!' 

I'm sorry... but you try sitting for any length of time with a classful of 7-year-olds. I try to stay off my feet but I still have a job to do. And, honestly, sometimes I forget that these twin-bearing feet can't handle what they used to--until I get home and take off my sandals to reveal puffy, imprinted little balloons. My feet hurt so bad the other night I decided to bust out the Danskos. 

 Usually these are reserved for winter months when dress pants and jeans cover their kind-of grandma-ish style. But, you guys, I LOVE these shoes (along with many a nurse, teacher, and chef). These things are just so dang comfortable. So yesterday I donned my black Danskos (with pants... I once saw someone wearing them with capris and it just wasn't right). But they didn't fit. What?!? They are supposed to be a little loose!! So I put on my brown ones (which then did not match what I was wearing. Oh well, I can't see my feet anyway...) By the end of the day my feet HURT. Not even a little bit. My Danskos failed me. Couldn't even believe it. (I know...oh, the drama.)

So today I tried flats. But shoes were the least of my worries. If only I'd known. Just as my kids were arriving for the day, a downright hilarious thing happened that not only made my day but the day of many a colleague.

Y'all I split my pants. 

Not even a little bit. Like an indecent bit. I was trying to stack a few reams of paper next to a shelf and since I can't bend AT ALL I was in a full out grand-plié...trying my hardest to be graceful. I should never try to be such. It never works out. I sent my poor co-teacher (who I'm sure is completely traumatized by my pregnancy and will likely never procreate because of it) to find someone with a sweater to wrap around my waist belly. I called my brother to bring me some pants but not before waddling down the alley  to Warner's trailer to show her the hilarity that was my split pants (and my booty in the process, not gonna lie...I'm sure that's just what she needed first thing in the morning...poor thing. It's tough being my best friend.)

Lesson learned. It looks like I need to invest in some maternity pants. Dang it. And, also, I should probably just keep a pair of yoga pants in my desk drawer.

conqueror

That's me...in the past two weeks I have conquered this...

And this...

But not before texting my sister a picture of these cords and saying "Where are you? Come HELP MEEEE!!!!"

Now, I know...It's not really THAT hard to set up a couple of computers but those cords were an overwhelming mess.  And I did it. Without my sister. That's a big accomplishment for me. 

I love how our trailer mobile learning unit is feeling more like a classroom. My new little crew is wonderful so far. {But I still miss my kids from last year. It will take a lot to surpass that group.}Regardless, they still say the darndest things. Second grade quote of the day (said as I walked past this little guy in line): 

Man...it is going to hurt a lot when they start pushing out.

Thanks for that. If only they were the ones doing the pushing.   


Pregnancy quote of the day {from my ever so sweet and sensitive sister}:

Wait how many months are you? Like 7? No...you've been seven months pregnant for like two months.

Nope...only 28 weeks...this week. Apparently, it's been a long week? Thanks for that, too. ; ) 

and we have a belly

Eight weeks pregnant in NYC...

Way back when I first found out I was pregnant {well, really, when my sister first found out which is a wicked hilarious story in and of itself}, my sister told me to make sure that I took pictures of my growing belly each week. She showed me all sorts of cute belly picture ideas on Pinterest. She told me I'd regret it if I didn't do it...and she was right. Again. Ugh.  So I scrounged around looking for pictures of me from the last 28 weeks. {Whoa. 28weeks.} Most of which were taken on my phone or Paul's phone. I think the only pictures taken on a real camera were from our anniversary. Sad story. But I have found that people who haven't seen me in awhile tend to have a shocked and amazed look on their face or they bust out laughing like I'm the funniest thing they've seen all week. {My mechanic, Reggie, was one such case and he laughed for literally 2 minutes before taking my keys to check out the Malibu.} So by popular demand and in an effort to cause the least amount of disruption in places of business, I give you my belly...and the changes that take place during 28 weeks of growing a couple of kiddos. 

Eight weeks on the Brooklyn Bridge...

Ten weeks...giving a full and detailed history of our families...

14ish weeks...I was dying to show by this point. Over three months pregnant with TWINS and this is all I have to show for it?!?! {Also, P-dubs likes to point out how long my arms are in this picture. But he has short, little T-rex arms so maybe our girls will have perfect length arms?!} But don't worry the girls made their presence known very soon after...

15 Weeks...in my jammies. Nothing's sacred...

Sixteen weeks....Mom-to-Be parking!! Hey...it was really hot that day and I was wearing heels. 

Sixteen weeks...I thought I was HUGE here. That is laugh-out-loud, side-splitting hilarious now. 

Seventeen weeks...Warner took this. Right after SHE busted out laughing at the changes in the 1 week I hadn't seen her. 

18 Weeks...Happy one year anniversary!

He has a belly, too...

This was the dress I wore to my rehearsal dinner a year ago and it still fit--kind of.  My sister laughed really hard when she saw me wearing it. And P-dubs told me I looked like a duck. What?!? That's at least better than other animals I have been lovingly compared to lately...including whale and manatee. 

Fourth of July....20 weeks.

Whoa belly! Whoa hair!! 21 weeks...

Twenty-two weeks....again, nothing sacred. 

Twenty-three weeks ...

Twenty-four weeks....it still just surprises me SO much when I turn to the side. 

Twenty-six weeks...My friend, Aime, and I at my shower. She's due in a couple weeks. I think my belly has caught up to her. 

Twenty-seven weeks...Told you I was THAT bridesmaid. This picture is just hysterical to me. 

So there you have it. At our appointment this week, both babies were measuring over 2 and a half pounds. That's almost 6 pounds of baby already. Yikes bikes! This belly's about to get a lot bigger. And with that this little manatee is going to head to bed. I survived my first day of teaching but I will make no guarantees about day two. 

soaking it all up

 Yesterday I was soaking up my last few minutes of summer...

The beach with P-dubs' family...

Paul and our niece Kaite building...

...a beach teepee. {Should have brought beach toys.}

Crabbing and alligator spotting...

Good thing because today I was soaking up this....

I kid you not that is a QUARTER next to that thing. Ew. But look at those nice shiny floors.

 And this...

 Which became this...

Five teachers worth of resources=overwhelming.

But I ain't scerred...I will conquer this mess of a new home trailer. And it will be homey...and welcoming...and organized. And it WILL be cockroach free. Gosh darn it. In an attempt to be truly honest and accurate, that roach was in my trailer just not today...it was a week or two ago when my little brother came to help me move my furniture.  But that really is a quarter next to it. P-dubs didn't believe us. {If he had been there my blood curdling screams would have testified to the Goliath size of that bug. I almost peed a little.} I made it five years in this district in an actual classroom, in an actual building. I guess it's my turn to experience all the adventures that come with being in a mobile unit. Warner says she's going to hang Christmas lights on her trailer...maybe put some potted plants in the "alley" outside her door. Sounds downright delightful.

puppy love

This past weekend this little guy married this sweet girl.

Darren and Karen
Photo by Jenna Fahlen

 

And I still can't really believe it because that's my BABY brother. The one who I used to dress up in dance costumes, who had the deepest voice you've ever heard come out of a four year old, who loved any and all activities where one could get seriously injured and/or die...

But he met his perfect match and, I kid you not, I seriously believe they were made just for each other. (I mean, I don't know too many other girls that would go long boarding with a goofy guy called 'Bucky' wearing an inordinate amount orange.) She's just great and I'm blessed to get to have her as a sister-in-law. I first met Karen at my wedding a little over a year ago. She was minutes off a plane from South Africa and still made it to the wedding on zero sleep. And she helped clean up...and wasn't overwhelmed at all by my crazy family. Not gonna lie, I sometimes even require a full nights sleep to take on the craziness that is the McLean family.

What a good sport, right?

This summer Bucky's been staying with us and I've gotten to know Karen a little bit better. She is one of the most helpful people on the planet and in the short times she visited she got A LOT done for this pregnant chicken. While her fiancé was composing music for FSU film students...

Howie is a good music composition helper.

Karen was doing this... (Not like she had a wedding or anything to plan...ha)...

She helped Paul take the bed out of one guest bedroom and move the other bed from the other guest room to make room for a crib or two.

Since I'm pretty much useless pregnant...P-dubs and Karen did a lot of bonding activities together.

Karen painted the whole nursery for me and added the damask pattern on one of the walls. I love it. If I had a million bucks I would have paid her at least that much for all the work she did in that room.

Howie is also a good painter.

A little nursery sneak peek courtesy of the wicked talented Karen Cleary McLean.

She gave Howie a haircut and a bath which is not an easy feat.

Howie is saying thank you for saving us 40 bones.

This husband and this dog...why my life is downright hilarious sometimes.

Along with these thrilling activities, she did the dishes more times than I can count, went on errands with me, and cleaned Bucky's bathroom every time she came.

I can't wait to share pictures of their special day because 1) they are extemely good-looking, 2) as you can tell from the nursery, she is wicked creative and the day was filled with all sorts of cute and adorable details, and 3) I look ridiculous as a pregnant bridesmaid. Yes, I was 'that bridesmaid' who had to have a different dress and be all pregnant and difficult. But, Karen didn't even mind. Ugh, I just love her.

Just WAIT to see pictures not taken on an iPhone...

our new addition

Dolly

Apparently, my mind works like this...

'Just be engaged? And planning a wedding? Nah...why not go for my National Boards at the same time?'

'Why don't I plan a gender reveal party, go to a full-time workshop all week, study, and take a state exam the same day as the party?'

"Two babies? Pshh...We might as well have two dogs, too..."

Actually, I didn't know we were getting Dolly until the day she came home with us. P-dubs forgot to mention it. But when I saw her, how could I say no? She's so sweet and, while we're her second owners, she is still very much a puppy. Read: She has already chewed two corners of the above pictured rug. She looks like a black version of Howie and they are pretty darn adorable together. Howie doesn't really share that sentiment but he's doing pretty well.

Oh, Howard...try to be patient with her. She's just little. My favorite is when she sits right on him without realizing it.

He waffles between ignoring her completely (despite any and all attempts on her part to play) and following her every move. Howie has never been the type of dog that will eat anything off the floor. {He's VERY picky about people food, go figure.} But since Dolly's joined us, if it even looks like she may interested, Howie's already there ready to eat it right up. Jealous, much? I bet he's tried 15 new and exotic foods like macaroni and waffles since she's been here. It's good to see him expanding his horizons...branching out. It's about time.