bahamas

*I wrote this on our flight down to the Bahamas on Friday but forgot to post it. That's what pure and utter freedom from responsibility does to you. It just makes you almost lose your mind...

My toes are ready for the Bahamas. But my heart is not. Oh, I forgot to mention we are goingonatripandleavingthegirls? That's because, if maybe I don't say it, it won't be true. When we started planning this trip 9 months ago, it seemed like a good idea. Leave the babies with my mom and sister and enjoy some time with Paul's family. We figured they'd be almost 11 months and we'd be ready. I am not ready. I know they will be just fine but I don't know if I will. People keep saying it will be a nice break for me but, the thing is, I don't feel like I need a 'break' from my babies. {Well, maybe like a 15 minute one where I can use the bathroom, maybe read a chapter in a book, or paint my nails without fearing that one of them has crawled into a highly un-baby-proofed area where they will, without a doubt, find an electrical outlet, find something to eat off the floor (even if it's just been vacuumed) or courageously climb...anything that can possibly be climbed.}

Actually leaving them wasn't the hard part. It felt like I was going to the store or running some errands. Except then I got on a plane to fly 700 miles away from them. And, since then, P-dubs and I have been those people who get away from the kids and then only talk about the kids. 'I think Charleigh's hair is going to look like that little girl's.' 'Do you hear that baby? She sounds just like Logan.' And those people who look at pictures of their kids they just left two hours ago. And those people who are already hanging on every little update from home and then chuckle about it again 20 minutes later. {Our babies are hilarious, don't ya know.} We are lame like that. But that's ok with me. I know we'll have fun and enjoy time with each other. So. Much. Time. But if Logan even  starts walking while we're gone or Charleigh starts standing on her own without me, I may never let them leave my sight again. Not even for kindergarten. Or college. 

So,Grammy and Aunty Noney, if my children achieve any major milestones while I'm gone, please pretend that these things did not happen. And just feign surprise and act thrilled when they do these things in front of me for the first time Friday night. It will bode much better for the sisters' future social lives. And for the little, tiny part of my heart I did not leave in Charlotte.