words of wisdom from the 2nd grade

Friday was our last day of school with the kids. I cannot tell you enough how much I have LOVED this class and was sad to see them go. (Seriously, most other years it's like 'see ya!'...this year I got a little pooly.) They were just so GREAT and sweet and hard working and I could brag on them for hours. But one of my favorite things this year was the hilarious things they would say. Starting with one boy exclaiming the first week of school, "Holy shrimp! That took a lot of trapezoids to cover those hexagons!" (Only gifted and talented child I have ever taught = unending source of amusement. He was smarter than me.  It was great.) I told my kids about a week before school was out that I was pregnant. And, thus, I give you...

Second Graders...on Having a Pregnant Teacher

'Mrs. Minor! Should you be lifting that? You shouldn't be lifting that!!!" All.Day.Everyday.

{overheard} "Mrs. Minor is getting fatter." {me} "Wait, wait, wait, buddy. You never say a woman who's having a baby is fatter. You could say she is looking pregnant." {him} "Mrs. Minor is looking WAY a lot pregnant." Mind you, I barely had a bump at this point. Thanks.

'Who will teach us when you have the babies? {Me: You'll be in 3rd grade.} You should make Mr. Minor take care of them!" To which another little girl, sweetly pointed out that it might not be the best idea to leave Mr. Minor alone with TWO babies. Ha. Also, try as I might, I could not get them to understand that they would be in 3rd grade by the time the babies were born. They seemed to believe that I would somehow have the babies in the 9 days they had left in second grade.

"If it's two boys you should name them Javon and Mike."

"No. You're not allowed to have a popsicle." {me} "Why not?" {2nd grade expert on pregnancy} "Pregnant people can't have sugar. You're teeth will get too bad." Hmmm. I had never heard this before. But, lo and behold, later that SAME day I got a weekly update from a pregnancy site saying that I needed to make sure I was brushing and flossing because pregnancy makes your teeth more susceptible to bacteria, etc. It should be noted that a lot of my students come from very large families and the little girls in my class know A LOT more about this than I do. 

{toughest little boy in my class} "Your babies might cry sometimes. I saw that on Sixteen and Pregnant one time. That babies cry sometimes." Yikes. 

"Are you having boys or girls?" {me} "I don't know but I think at least one is a girl." {her} "But what if you have TWO girls?!?" {me} "I'd be very happy." {her, with disapproving look} "uh uh, Miss Minor. Can you imagine doin' two girls' hair EVERY morning?!? sheesh."  Good point. 

"Mrs. Minor you shouldn't be in this heat. You need to go stand in the shade. Come.On."  Nothing like being bossed around by a second grader.