Today was admittedly not a really good day. I was dragging. Logan was a little constipated and Charleigh was sleepy and needy. I had wanted to get my mom's Mothers Day package ready to go and wanted to get the three loads of laundry that had yet to be folded put away. They are still sitting on the couch.
Halfway through the day I found myself eating handfuls of mini-chocolate chips that I chased with a spoonful of peanut butter.
Who is this person? I was tired and unmotivated and sat on the floor with my babies as they played. And sat there. And laid down with them when they slept. And fed them pears and then sweet potatoes and thought about how I should really make them some more food to freeze. And prayed for Logan's tiny belly and Charleigh's funk. And my heart. Then Patty Griffin's 'Heavenly Day' came on Pandora. And I was reminded that even though I felt awful and even though the only useful thing I had done was wash their diapers, today was a heavenly day. We were all there. All breathing. All blessed.
With the help of some oats and flax seed those spoonfuls of peanut butter were transformed into fuel instead of junk.
If chocolate chips and peanut butter can be redeemed, so could this day. And so could this life. I didn't do anything else. No package. No laundry. No baby food. I comforted a needy baby and massaged another's tiny stomach and sang some songs and read some stories. I was a mom. And that was it. Someday I know I will look back and treasure these days as nothing but heavenly--even if they are sometimes mundane or frustrating or tiring. Someday I will want this bliss. So right now, I'm not getting dinner ready. That's not what they need. They need me in this moment. A friend of mine wrote about loving the 'blink' you're in. I am loving it.
This is the blink I'm in: two six-month-old baby girls who won't always need me like this. Crazy days and calm nights. One sister falling asleep as I nurse her and the other snuggled up next to me blowing raspberries on my arm.
And Logan just pooped. Oh, heavenly day.
Loved this!! First: I'm impressed that you added oats and flaxseed to your chocolate and peanut butter (usually I just add ice cream). I'm going to try that next time. Secondly: it's funny you posted this because today, nothing got done. And the babies were cry-ey and only one nap-ey. And then I come to your blog and realized my dear twin mommy 548 miles away friend was having a similar day. Thankful to be able to relate to each other's lives and encourage each other. Someday really soon, we need to get that coffee.
ReplyDeleteI WANTED to add ice cream but I didn't have any. Haha. I'm so glad I have you to relate to, too. Although, I have the better end of the stick since you are ahead of me and can tell me all your secrets! : ) And, for reals, about that coffee...
DeleteYou just dont know how much this blog helped me, I really needed to read this. Thank you so much!
ReplyDeleteAww I'm glad. I don't know how you do it with them being so close in age. I think that would be definitely be harder than twins!
DeleteThis post was an encouragement to me yesterday when I read it. So thanks! :) Of course, reading on a phone while holding a baby doesn't lend itself to giving comments. Thus, I am a day late!
ReplyDeleteThanks girl! I always mean to comment so many times but I'm always on my phone, too. I'm glad I'm not the only one who needs encouragement every once in awhile!
Delete